computer

Ouch..I completely forgot
that whom I got socialized to is not computer, nor machine.
But human,
with thousands undefined variables.

I'd better be back to the reality.

that distance

Time -again- flies very fast. It was 4 years ago when I met them, my Fukuoka family, for the last time. And we met again today. It seems that 4 years are nothing. No time distance felt. Anyone of us might have changed. But the feeling that we have ever had good time together, stays.

It is what always happened to my life. People come and go.
And each of them always left footprints on my path.
Well, it is true, 世界に一つだけの花。。。

And if I have opportunity to meet anyone from my past,
really hope that any good feeling I have ever had in them, stays.
Leave other footprints, for me to continue my steps.

PS: miss all of my friends. and my family. a lot.

have we met?

Yesterday night, being invited by an enthustiastic -art crazy- friend ;p I was awestruck by the art exhibition titled "have we met?"--well, thanks, yo!--
Contemporary. Inspiring. Never seen something like this before.
But anyway, it then brought me to long thoughts.

"Have we met?"
..what..
..our souls?

And the answer is still about to seek.

PS: Get well soon, mom @>-- take care always.

disturbed

hanya hati yang tahu...
dan terkadang lebih baik untuk membiarkannya tak terungkap.

state of mind

Sometimes it comes to mind that when almost no ways are seen there must be something left still.
State of mind.
The unconscious power.

I remember reading the article about the patient whose ilness is almost incurable. The doctor told him about how the process of the cure happened in his body and asked him to visualize the process in addition to giving him medication. He made the patient involve his mind in the treatment process. Visualization.
And the patient was saved.

Maybe it is also what we need to reach our goal. State the goal. Visualize the way.
Because what I know is when I think I can't, it is most probably I can't.

PS: miss people a lot! *_*
Met my professor from Indonesia yesterday, a quarter of the problem was enlightened.
Talked to my project leader this morning, other quarter was almost solved.
But the other remains. To be one of the reasons for me never to stop thinking.
--and this fuzzy blog is one of the consequences.

conscience

Do you believe whatever your conscience says, it tells you the truth? Once my mom said that you'd better listen to it otherwise it will stop talking. Well, guess it's true. Very cold tonight. Snow outside. But something missing inside. And it is simply because I let my conscience alone. Without my agreement. I promise it will never happen again.


I went to Sumo tournament today. They were just..HUGE! :) Ojisan whom I met in Ginza few months ago invited me. It's the third time he invites me to such exciting events that sometimes I wonder that there is still unbeliavably very nice people in this world. However, he wants me to see the Japanese culture, he said to me today in very strong Japanese accent of Japanese old man which sometimes hard to understand :p

Many good things happened in my life. Even when I am an alien here in Japan. Maybe this is just one of many ways Allah shows me there are always many things to be grateful for. Hope I will always be able to feel it.

unfocused

Proven by what I am doing at the moment. Writing documentation, writing presentation, writing this blog, waiting the program's excecution, chatting, and including thinking thousands stuffs in my mind --lot of stuffs in my mind lately...even everytime I go home I just don't realize if I have arrived (it takes 1 hour to go home from the lab so time is shorter then :p)-- It might be no problem to do such a bunch of multitasking as long as you can keep your focus changing by the thing you are doing. But if mind flies everywhere instead of what you are currently doing? ;) Well, that's quite ineffective isn't it.

Reading this and this. Thanks a lot, Mos :)--and thanks for the internship letter, received yesterday--

Gotta back to the real work. Catch you later.

stressed

**sigh**

Tonight is still long, I reckon.
Why people is unstable sometimes...think it might be because the world is round --and it keeps on turning.
Never can you expect day all the time. There must be night to come.

Again, suicide in Tokyo tonight. As always.
Stressed people everywhere. By work, responsibility, or more,... by hope? Hope that is unreachable, unrealizable, --and unspeakable?

Hope I can always hold on. As life itself is a great blessing.
Again. Rest if you must. But don't you quit.


PS: talking about stress and hope, is it also why people can never live alone? ;)

don't quit

Fourteen minutes to the end of today. Feel very tired but my mind just can't compromise lately. Seems that it doesn't want to stop spinning. As days are sometimes tough and unbearable...I am simply reminded by one part of the poem: "Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Often man would have got the crown, had he stuck it out"

Completely agree.
And I am very grateful for having people around me --whose smile, greeting, couragement, or even -just- existence, make me never think to give up. Thanks a bunch @>-

Oyasumi nasai.
I'll run faster tomorrow.

no title

疲れた。
時間がもっと長ければいいのに。

Walked around shinjuku station to sell my 18kippu to 2nd ticket shops... with great hope that there would have been one still optimistic of buying my ticket. Still 4 boxes left in my ticket --which will be expired in 4 days also-- which means I still can use it for 4 days going anywhere in Japan *_* Well, unless miracle happens soon, I should not waste it whatever the way is.. :p but excluding making trip again --that is impossible on these kind of days!--

Everything is just fine. Like usual sunday.. waking up a bit (?) later, walking around, freezing, visiting friends, doing homework (what?!) ^_^ Hope I can break this stagnancy =) which is --of course-- very stable life I have :)

Having little talk about what I am going to be in near future.. always find this difficult to decide. The nearer, the darker *sigh* One thought that teaching will be enjoyable, sure, peaceful,... well... is it? Have no idea. But a moment, don't it also means...stagnant? --again?-- Dunno. But I'll think about it. No worries.

time flies...

...time flies...
.......and soo fast!

Just didn't realize that it has been 4 months since I came to Japan for my YSEP year. Just really afraid that I've been wasting my time. But, well... there were a lot of wonderful things happened in my life for these 4 months as I always believe that things came to my life are the best thing that can happen. No exception for what is coming next seconds...

Busy with homeworks lately as this fall semester will end very soon. Same things every end of semester. Catching up stuffs. Think that I should learn -more- from mistakes. But no regret that I spent my winter holiday going to Kansai visiting my cousin's family. Kansai, especially Kyoto and Nara, is very nice place: quite, temples everywhere, and still having strong Japanese atmosphere. I was just wondering if my year would be there... :p --so it's kind of suggestion for you who is considering studying in Japan...choose Kansai!-- Well...but Tokyo is not bad at all. Lively and entertaining. Never sleep city. The city where my uni is located. Tokyo Tech... and oops! just reminded that I'm going to have my research presentation very soon --opened one for all lab members, not the regular one that I have everyweek with my research team-- Uuhh...wake up...stop dreaming...

By the way, this was the highlight of my trip: Ginkakuji, a temple situated in Kyoto, with the two top stories covered with pure gold leaf. Stunningly beautiful.

All right..stop dreaming. and work harder (or smarter? ;) )
...stop dreaming...
but never stop dreaming your dreams..
as what happened now is what I have dreamed of before.

4 months have passed.
4 months the dreams have been dreamed.
now is the time to make them real
...and time to knit other dreams...

-desiree-
again, surprised today flies very fast!